I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
