I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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