i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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