i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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