You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
