If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
