I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
