So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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