Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize