try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
