It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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