Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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