I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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