last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
