so explain again why im purple
no
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
