I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
