im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
