I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
In America we eat man semen.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize