so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
