Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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