no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
