Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
