i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
