And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
