so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't think brook has ever known best
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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