Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sponge bath it is.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
