You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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