Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
