just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it glows. i had to have it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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