Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize