is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
