Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
