Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Congratulations! We have a period
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
