but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
