this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
