Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
