My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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