just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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