Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize