Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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