think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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