i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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