Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize