I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
