dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
