Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
