I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize