Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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