Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
