I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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