Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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