Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
