the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
