He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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