I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
