He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
