she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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