he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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