So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
