last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
