i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize