he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
