Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
